Stuff Asian People Like

It’s been well documented (here on SAPL and elsewhere) that Asians are moderately intelligent, and as so, they’ve figured that the standard of higher education back in Asia is dreadfully mediocre. That’s why so many Asians pack their bags and leave their homelands in search of some good old-fashioned Western education. After all, what would you prefer, a medical degree from the Ho Chi Minh City School of Medicine or an equivalent from, I dunno, Stanford University? *wink* I rest my case.

Asians have figured out due to factors such as globalization and whatnot, that English-speaking countries are the preferable exchange destinations. Often targeted nations include Australia (close proximity to Asia), the United Kingdom (birthplace of Western education), and the mighty United States (well, simply because it’s America, people… AMERICA!!!). Asians feel that increased job opportunities back in their homeland will eventuate with a swanky degree from a prestigious Western institution. This “privileged education” will help them stand out from that regular Joe Blow back home who graduated from Ho Chi Minh (nothing against education in Ho Chi Minh – it’s just that many an inept TV doctor has “graduated” from that institution). =D

There are two methods in which Asian adolescents can realize their dreams of studying abroad. Either:

1) Said Asian is so especially gifted and prodigiously intelligent that they virtually force their way into such education out of sheer brilliance, or

2) Said Asian’s parents are loaded.

Method 1 is self-explanatory. Method 2 is admittedly a more common pathway to the goldmine of Western education for Asian international students. Asian parents value education, almost as much food, clothing and shelter. Amongst many Asians, a strong education is a sign of a strong upbringing, and Asians parents, being as pragmatic as they are, realize that their children’s successes (or lack thereof perhaps) will reflect upon them. Thus, many Asian parents are more than happy to invest in their beloved children’s well-being by sending them to the finest schooling they can afford – which apparently lies here in the Western world.

When Asian international students do make the trek West for further education, they tend to be concentrated in specific faculty areas. Anything related to science, engineering, medicine or information technology is prime– whereby logic, numbers and reasoning is valued over forming even the slightest coherent sentence in English. No wonder Asian international students think a Bachelor of Arts is a degree in painting! However, the biggest haven of study for Asian international students is the field of Accounting. After all, Asians love numbers. It’s a perfect fit!

Maybe it is from personal experience, but for some reason Asians truly strive to become accountants (don’t know why though – accountants, along with dentists have exorbitantly high suicide rates). Actually, a fun thing to do when entering an Accounting lecture is to count how many white people there are in the class. In one of my lectures, in a class of more than 100, there were only 3 white people in attendance, almost everyone else was Asian! Sometimes gives you doubts as to whether you’re studying in an Asian or a Western institution!

There are other situations. If an Asian’s parents haven’t already migrated to the Western world (inevitably for their children’s sake), many Asians take it upon themselves to make the journey themselves. It is seen as the first positive step amongst many, after all: Good Education-> Good Job-> Good Life. So what are you waiting for, my fellow Asians? If you’re not looking towards Western education as a viable option – then you really should! Don’t get left back in Ho Chi Minh City School of Medicine, when there are far more prestigious options out there waiting for you!

On a side note, in keeping with the “Studying Overseas” theme, this writer is conforming to this notion somewhat – by going on a study program overseas in Shanghai International Studies University over the November 08 – January 09 period. So basically, what I’m saying is, if you don’t hear from me during that period, it means they’ve gotten to me… *wink*

Shaun.
sy88

Asians can’t help being so good looking. Seriously, sometimes we just have too huge of an advantage.

A truly wise man from San Francisco once said:

It seems that the Asian women I have met usually send me pictures that are 10 years old, or photoshoped with alterations. Worse are the professional studio pictures with corny backgrounds and lighting that many Chinese women seem to have. They never look like the picture, not even close. To top it off, while many show up looking like they just got in a street fight (beat up looking) others show up just looking very average but think they are so hot! I think many Asian women, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, and especially the Filipina women get this false sense of their own attractiveness because every dorky white guy in Silicon Valley with an Asian fetish have only one criteria: 1. that the woman’s eyes are slanted. I think preference number 2 would be that she can’t really understand him, so he can hide what a freaking retard he really is. The end result is that these Asian women are adored by these social misfits and get a puffy head. – Jake, funtallwhiteguy@gmail.com

Ladies, he’s single.

While most Asians dream about becoming successful doctors, lawyers, or engineers, others are way off the beaten path. Some Asians even have secret aspirations about being the next import model or Asian drama star (not really, but this post lets you in on a crucial reasoning from post #66 - why Asian people like taking pictures). Why does the average asian invest so much money on the next Nikon, Canon, cutting edge cellphone, digital camera, or webcam? It’s not only because Asians like taking family photos, doing peace signs in groups, and then retaking each photo twice (in case they thought the photo just wasn’t right).

No, the standard “Asian Peace Sign” pose is really a V for Victory, and our slanted eyes aren’t only due to our need to mentally assault the sketchy person in the corner of the room who needs a cure for Yellow Fever. No, Asians just really like posing.

Does Mr. Single in San Francisco have a point? Not really. Take a glance at any photo of any non-Asian “candid” on MySpace, and you’ll notice a missing arm. (Hmm. I wonder why…) If you take a look at the person’s camera, you’ll find several hundred copies of the same practiced pose.

The Asian fascination with Cameras and Photography spans centuries. During my lifetime, I’ve witnessed the Camera craze in the 90s, Asian teenagers taking those blurry, washed out, pocket size, group or individual studio photos for $14.99 in the malls (My friends dragged me into a couple). Then there were Purikura photo booths (See post #2, I’ve taken plenty of these). As cellphones became more easily accessible, some misguided Asians started taking those bug eyed cellphone poses from every angle you can think of (Yes, who hasn’t taken photos of themselves when no one was looking). Also, I noticed that more of my Asian friends who are girls would bring back from Asia studio photos of them doing model poses and post them on Facebook or Myspace. Thus, they’ve inspired me to write about the Asian person’s secret pasttime, which is to do model poses for the camera.

I mean, really, why take a “standard” decapitated MySpace photo, when you could have an amazing Asian pose? Perhaps our tendency to do well in class has let us realize this sooner.

This is distinctively different than white people and how they like bottled water. Asians do not value water as much as buying expensive, supposedly higher quality water. Though Asians do agree on the contents of regular tap water, and that it’s way too dangerous to drink. So how do they make ends meet? Asians went to Costco and discovered the Kirkland brand bottled water.

For about 5 dollars, an Asian can enjoy 36 (it could be 24) bottles of clean non-tap water goodness. Every so often, you can check an Asian woman’s purse, or an Asian male’s backpack and see that there is a bottle of Kirkland water nested in there. Don’t ever try to get an Asian to purchase any other brand, as any other brand would be overpaying for water. And rarely would you see Asians carrying around the metal or plastic reusable containers. Asians aren’t necessarily known for needing to drink that much water as opposed to certain non-Asians.

So overall I’m not saying Asians stand against paying for water, they are just only willing to pay for the Kirkland brand. It is even more likely when going to an Asian’s house or apartment, that you will find this gigantic kirkland case, probably still partially wrapped in it’s plastic seal but of course with the ripped-in hole for access to the bottles. Or if you’re even more curious, look in the recycling bins of Asians, and voila! - empty kirkland bottles galore.

On the other hand, Asians are also known for having a water filter, usually by Brita. It is more economically and environmentally beneficial for Asians to “make” their own pure and clean water; by taking away the supposedly “bad stuff” in tap water with their awesome water filters. It is guaranteed that if an Asian household doesn’t invest in Kirkland brand water bottles, most likely there are 1 or 2 (the record I’ve seen was in an Asian college household, which was 4) water filters laying around in the fridge or counter top. So I suppose Asians are a bit more gutsy in terms of tackling drinking tap water with the help of a water filter. I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen non-Asians who commonly own water filters…mostly because of lack of trust in them to take away the impurities.