Here’s the second installment of “Korean Moms Week” from Stuff Korean Moms Like. I hope you guys enjoy it as much as many of SAPL’s other readers have. We proudly present Chiyo’s “Arranged Marriages” post (originally titled: Marrying People Off).
They love this. If you are between the ages of 24-40 and you’re unmarried, your Korean mom is currently trying to marry you off. Don’t deny it. The sooner they get you married, the sooner they get to be ‘halmoni’s/grandmothers and not ‘ahjumahs’/older-married-women.
However, you are not to marry just anyone. Your Korean mom is planning your marriage to either a Korean Doctor or Lawyer, and maybe if she’s liberal and a little out there… a Korean businessman or woman. As you grow older, her attempts to ‘get you married’ will escalate. She will even resort to setting you up with people in Korea who are looking for Greencards (that you have never met) and have only seen photoshopped pictures of (…that guy in that picture she showed you? You know, the one from Daejon that works for Samsung? He’s actually bald, 5 feet tall, and has a snaggle tooth…but you won’t know until the wedding).
She will never ever ever, I repeat …ever, be “okay” with you wanting to marry from these catagories or groups of people: White, African American, Japanese, anyone of South Asian decent, someone who is ‘trying to figure out what to do with their life’, Artists, or Ministers. She may say that it will eventually be ok… but deep down, it’s killing her. (Mainly because she can now never brag about you again).
The last category in this set is considered a death sentence to a Korean Mom who does not want to see her child suffer at the hands of other Korean Moms at the Minister’s church. If her child does choose to marry a minister, and the Korean Mom somehow agrees, she will complain but secretly enjoy her new status as ‘one who gave birth to holy child’. If you choose to marry or date a person belonging to the other said groups, be prepared to have your partner experience shunning, an elevated form of the silent treatment, whenever he/she is in the presence of the aforementioned Korean Mom. If you are currently dating, partnered, or married to anyone in the list above… I salute you. You’re my hero.
Written By Chiyo
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