That Guy asks: Why should you move out at 18? you can just stay at home with your mom and and dad and live cheaply. Heck why move out at all? I know of some who live into their 30′s with their parents. Perhaps in the white people world that is awkward, but in the asian community, it is just normal and accepted.
When you ask somebody if they have children, you’re probably expecting an answer along the lines of, “Oh yes… Timmy’s the cutest little 3 year old you’ve ever seen,” or, “My daughter can say ‘baba’ and ‘mama’ ” Ask an Asian person the same thing, and they can spend hours highlighting their little toddler’s accomplishments (with the comprehension level of a 5 year old) or their 24 year old (on a full ride scholarship to Harvard) hardships in life. Heck, Asian parents might even babble over their 30-something year old grown-up “children.” Why is there no shame in this?
To many non-asian cultures, living at home is a common and healthy practice because there is no need for a sense of individuality and self-reliance. In Western Culture, where every child is made to believe that they can become rock stars or sports sensations, individualism thrives. In fact, living at home is a strange and embarrassing situation that can usually leave one’s parents’ parenting to question. Not for Asians, though.
To those of you that scoff at a 30 year old asian man living with their parents, I pose these questions: Why is it that in Western Culture, children must move out upon entering college (around 18 years of age)? Conversely, why is it okay for Asian children to continue to live with their parents until around the time they’re married; Or in some cases, even after they’re married?
This discrepancy can be explained by differences in rearing. For over a millennium, parents have allowed their children to share the same beds. This fostered healthy parental attachment (in the form of maternal warmth), ease of breast-feeding for both parties, as well as a sense of security not offered by a “blankie” or stuffed animal. In recent years, however, due to alarming studies showing that under 1% of infants are killed in “rolling over” incidents (as opposed to the 4-5% killed annually in baby crib accidents), the nurturing practice we have come to recognize as “co-sleeping” has earned quite a bad rap.
Luckily for non-Western culture, and subsequently Asian Culture, the practice of co-sleeping is still quite popular. Let’s not forget that without parental attachment, children seek other forms of security such as pacifiers or expensive baby toys. Isn’t it strange that many of those alarming findings were reported by toddler toy manufacturers and their constituents? Isn’t it likewise strange that Asian children are very respectful to their parents and care a great deal for them? Isn’t is alarmingly strange that I haven’t been able to lose those 15 pounds that I gained on vacation last summer? Isn’t it? You tell me.
The parental attachment and nourishment offered, however, is only one of the reasons why Asians don’t move out. The other, as you could’ve guessed, is in fact money. “When people move out, they are left to fend for themselves in a dog-eat-dog world,” says author Vicki Tan. “How do you survive in an expensive city such as London or New York City? Do you swallow your pride and live with your parents? Or do you live in a dingy area and bear with it?”
In Asia, where land is sometimes scarce (no matter how odd that may sound), the cost of living can rise very quickly. A similar situation is occurring in the states, and because most Asians can in fact swallow their pride, they choose to live with their parents. There are many quirks of having mom and dad around that you’ve probably overlooked. Here are a few: free catering, laundry service, baby-sitting, language tutor, moral guidance, gardener, teacher, adviser, counselor, and supporter (not the athletic type) … must I go on?
Mmm… Look at all those rice patties, mom!
In Western Culture, the media and evil corporations have taken the only thing that we have always had away from us, our ability to raise children. They offer advice that usually makes them more money. They give children false hopes. They make us fear the worse. In Asian Culture, these ideas are highly farfetched. Due to practices such as co-sleeping, asians are able to raise well-mannered children that have been given the proper attention from a young age.
In turn, many Asians live with their parents until they get married; some people still live with their parents even after getting married. This is because Asians are usually more family-oriented and they would save money when they live with their parents. Therefore, it is acceptable for an older person to be living with their parents, no matter how old; which means Not Moving Out is a very, intelligent, move for Asians around the world.
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