When you’re in the dairy and produce aisles at any supermarket, you’ll notice an all too familiar sight: an asian woman scrunched over peering into the dark abyss that is the back of the milk refrigerator. You wonder when they’ll move. You wonder if they’ll ever move at all. No, this asian isn’t constipated due to years of rice consumption, but is satisfying their unquenchable appetite for Fresh Food.
Fact: Asian countries lack supermarkets, which are only now becoming available in the more developed asian countries.
Fact: In their natural element, Asians are extremely thrifty: Never spending even a cent too much for anything. All the while, they are expecting the best bang for their respective bucks.
Now, if you’ve ever been to a supermarket like Ralphs or Safeway, there are a few universal quirks:
1. The signs “Fresh, Freshest, Newest,” and in some cases– “Chock full of New Freshness!” plastered all around.
2. The freshest items like produce on the outer walls, and less time-sensitive items like soda and cookies in the middle. At Walmart, however, everything is reversed, as the freshest items are in the center of the supermarket. Their freshest items are the closest to the middle of the supermarkets as possible.
It’s all by design. Asians are naturally drawn to the freshest items. To preserve this, they have spent years developing good supermarket etiquette by noticing the little nuances. You may never hear from me again after learning these ancient asian secrets of supermarket survival, but I will put my life on the line to show you how Asians always have the freshest foods.
Supermarkets want to get rid of their oldest foods as soon as possible. To do this, they will store the freshest items further in, while enticing consumers to purchase the items furthest out. Asians always look for the freshest items. To do this, they use their proper supermarket etiquette and reach further than any non-asian person has reached before: Into the back of the refrigerator.
This takes us back to the first paragraph. That asian woman now has a reason for staring into the darkness that is the back of the refrigerator. (She was just getting the freshest milk.) She continues to the fruit aisle, where you see her stop once again and then pick up a watermelon. She taps it for hollowness puts it down. She smells an orange to check for ripeness. She can sense dirty vegetables a mile away. All these traits have been passed down for the generations. As a result, have been extremely important in perpetuation of an Asian’s affinity for Fresh Foods.
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