Stuff Asian People Like

How many Asians do you see in American media? On TV, magazines, and newspapers, images of asian people are rare (unless they are advertising cell phones or other electronics). For that reason, Asians have figured out how to be noticed: Do it themselves. This is why Asians absolutely love taking photos, especially of themselves. When Asians go on vacation, they will go to all the usual tourist stops, but will take 4 times longer than the average person to get through their site-seeing. This involves stopping in front of pretty much anything with a description or inscription and taking about a dozen photos every time the scene changes.

The act of self photography is in part a survival mechanism. Asians are, for the most part, quiet and unobtrusive (unless they are shouting into a phone or yelling at their children). Without self-documentation, Asians risk disappearing altogether. They will hover quietly through life, filling up ivy league colleges and grabbing all of the engineering, medical, or entrepreneurial jobs. Thanks to cameras,though, they can tell the world that they do in fact exist. And it works. The photos Asians take of themselves and each other are all over the internet, appearing on television much more than other ethnic pictures. This does not, however, mean that they are always good. For example, Asians appearing on a picture for a “support the children” foundation wouldn’t quite be trying to get personal attention. This won’t stop asians from dressing their children up in tattered clothing so that telemarketted masses can send their money to them because never the type to uni-task, Asians will enjoy promoting world peace and self-image at the same time.

Asians like to purchase cameras because they sound fancy. Try being successful if you don’t have the latest gadgets and gizmos. This is demonstrated when Asians meet their friends. “Did you see the new Nikon Model!?” “Yea.. I did..” “WOW, You can take like 20 pictures rapid burst on it!” “Yea..” Asians like to play along even when they do not in fact own the piece of technology they have. It’s the self-image and first impression that makes all the difference to Asians. Nonetheless, cameras share much more than “place of manufacture” with asians.

A natural connection between Asians and self-photography is the camera itself. Nikon, Canon and Pentax are all camera manufacturing giants that sprung from Japan. Asian people love the chance to embrace something invented by themselves, especially if it means that the item will project a better image than that of a foreign competitor. This allows asians to have the utmost pride when referring to cameras. Without the innovations of asian countries, the digital image industry wouldn’t be as prosperous (if at all) as it is today, which also allows asians to take the pictures in any way that they wish. “There is no such thing as a tripod to asians, because the body is far superior a balancing point.” To achieve balance and symmetry within a photo, asians will do just about anything.

So now you’re probably asking: “How do I take pictures that asian way?” It’s quite elementary, my dear uninformed Watson:

1. Buy an Asian manufactured camera. Asians prefer cameras with fancy names and features like “SLR” or “3CCD.” It’s not how well an asian does something, it’s how well the object reflects their wealth.

2. Make peace signs with your fingers. Asians always throw out peace sign to direct attention to or away from them. As mentioned in the Peace Signs post, asians will use the V-shape to emphasize their smiles, shift the picture’s focus away, or bring the focus to them.

3. Use your body like a tripod. Remember that Asians do not use tripods. If a tripod is around, asians will still opt to use a pile of magazines, newspapers, or other literary material. When you bend your body to fit the exact shape, do not worry about what others think. It’s your dang camera. It’s your dang country’s product. And it’s, most importantly, it’s your story that you’re telling.

4. Take as long as you want. Asians don’t care that they’re probably missing their uncle’s wedding or funeral as long as they are taking pictures. Picture taking is a masterful job that requires the utmost patience.

So there you have it. You can be a great asian picture-taker if you follow the steps mentioned. Most importantly, have fun, because to Asians, picture taking is the equivalent of a heart-stopping roller coaster at Knott’s Berry Farm.

Written by everydayasian and Peter

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