One thing you won’t hear at a typical Asian dinner gathering is “Do you mind if I kill that?” or “Were you going to finish that?” This is because Asians like to not take the last piece of food on a plate.
This Asian cultural idiosyncrasy leads to some very peculiar phenomena at Asian social gatherings. For example, you will typically see an Asian person take some plate containing a small amount of food, take only half of it, and put the plate back. This may happen for several cycles, resulting in a whole table of plates with absurdly small amounts of food remaining on them.
The more mathematically inclined might be thinking right now, “Ah, that’s all fine and good for continuously divisible food such as noodles or vegetables, but what about food that comes in discrete units, like ice cream bon bons or mochi balls?” That leads us to another typical Asian behavior called taking the second to last piece of food.
You might ask, “Well since the last piece of food is taboo, isn’t taking the second to last just as bad?” It isn’t. In fact, those who eat with Asians often should get in the habit of spying plates with rapidly disappearing quantities of food and getting some before there is only one piece left. Such reflexes are the key to maintaining proper decorum while getting enough food to eat at the same time.
Why is this behavior so prevalent among Asians at the dinner table? Perhaps the Asian emphasis on community over individual plays a role. Also, the Asian tendency to use indirect communication and therefore try to anticipate others’ needs does too. Either way, make sure you grab the food you want before there’s only one piece left.
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9 responses so far ↓
1 Peter // Apr 23, 2008 at 5:55 am
TRUE TRUE TRUE TRUE TRUE
=)
that.
Peter.
2 Derrick // Apr 23, 2008 at 7:47 am
i got in trouble with my dad when i was a kid when i took the last piece without asking. so couple the passive aggressiveness (and/or laziness) of going out to ask everyone if they’d like the last piece (and then looking greedy ‘cuz you’re now announcing that you want it), it’s just easier to give up and let it sit there, as it grows cold and uneaten.
besides, if you’re really asian, you’ll doggy bag it and eat it once you get home anyways.
3 LG // Apr 23, 2008 at 9:42 am
haha, i do have a friend who won’t finish or kill whatever is left. no matter what.
on the other hand, i also have another friend who does ask if you’ll finish it and then do it for you.
the explanation for her is, i guess asians nowadays who live in the US don’t mind having leftovers, but don’t want to be wasteful. they know how much food costs and are lucky to have what they have here as well.
4 roo // May 4, 2008 at 9:09 pm
HAHA So true! pretty much the same as Derrick.
my dad used to yell at me if i took the last piece without asking everybody at the table if i could (which would of course lead to everybody frenzily saying yes and pushing it towards me).
i guess yeah it’s valuing the community over the individual.
5 Ica // May 8, 2008 at 3:00 am
taking the last piece of food: guilty.
6 DC // May 15, 2008 at 10:15 am
True. My Japanese wife always makes a big deal out of this little ritual. Its about ” valuing the community over the individual” as Roo suggests.
You have to ask before taking the last piece.
7 Traci // May 16, 2008 at 12:15 am
i take the easy way out: splitting it.
8 TM // Jun 4, 2008 at 7:47 pm
…or bring a white friend along
9 Anonymous // Jun 22, 2008 at 9:38 pm
This is so true. Happens every day during dinner.
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