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#47 The Child

Posted March 27th, 2008 by Peter · 18 Comments
16,075 views

The Child

Family relationships in the East and West are very different. In the West, children are raised primarily by their parents, and are free to choose, make mistakes, and learn from them. Grandparents play less of a role in day-to-day life for these children. In the East, both parents and grandparents are actively involved in raising children, creating a child-orientated family structure that can be both beneficial and detrimental to their development.

Asians have always supported their children. According to the Vietnamese National Song, which was banned by the communist regime, “Students are the people that hold the hope of the future.” Asians know the importance of developing their children. By creating a child-oriented society, asians know that they will rely very heavily on the future successes of their children. For this reason, some asians will stop at nothing to keep their children on the right path, unfortunately leaving most asians sheltered and naive to the ways of the world.

Asian parents do these things because they do not want their children to fail. They have immigrated to other countries so that their children are able to receive the education that they themselves were not able to receive. Even though this does cause most asian children (especially females) to feel extreme pressure, asian parents should not be judged for trying to give their children the upper hand (by enrolling their children in tutoring courses or music classes). They should be praised. This act is a sign of investment (time and money). It is a sign of trust (in their children). It is, most importantly, a sign of love.









That’s why asian culture is so closely knit. In western culture, children are seen as individuals from a young age. They are weened from motherly affection at the age of 4, and they are taught that individualism and self-fulfillment are the most important goals in life. Asians see it a whole other way. Asian fidelity in marriage is extremely high because:

To asians, family isn’t only just a foundation, it’s the foundation. Asian children see their parents as hard-workers that will make necessary sacrifices for them. They see their aunts and uncles as loving and caring presences. They will trust their grandparents with any problems they may have. Asians grow up respecting their elders, and do not merely see their relatives as friends or acquaintances. This is why asians never address their family members by their first names. It is considered extremely rude, so asians show their respects by appending the “uncle” or “aunt” monikers.

The Child is an essential part of eastern society because Asians devote most their lives to creating productive and respectful offspring. This includes teaching proper etiquette, family values, and morals. This also includes instilling a sense of community, pride, and a strong work ethic. Asian fidelity in marriage is extremely high due to the fact that asians properly get involved in their children’s lives. To asians, children are not merely puppets, they are vehicles of hope and ambition that will one day return to their native countries to make a positive impact. Asians love their children for these reasons and more.

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Tags: Customs · Environment · Habits · History · People · Relationships · Social · Work

18 responses so far ↓

  • 1 YASPY Chick // Mar 27, 2008 at 5:26 am

    Actually, you’re seeing more and more white kids having “controlled childhoods.” The term “helicopter parent” was unknown when I was in university, and I only graduated six years ago! More and more, parents are staying near campus beyond a day after the kid moves in. I have heard of some parents actually DOING their kids’ laundry…when these kids should be doing it themselves. After all, they ARE away at school! When I was in elementary school, just about the only kids in the Kumon math program were Asian (and a few white Jewish kids). It’s more diverse now.

  • 2 LG // Mar 27, 2008 at 7:31 am

    AMEN BROTHER!

    nailed it on the head. especially these two:

    1. “In the East, both parents and grandparents are actively involved in raising children, creating a child-orientated family structure…”

    2. “…asians know that they will rely very heavily on the future successes of their children. For this reason, some asians will stop at nothing to keep their children on the right path, unfortunately leaving most asians sheltered and naive to the ways of the world.”

    for 1: i grew up with my grandparents (mother’s side) living with us most of the time – they’d stay with my cousins too so they would get the same experience. i would remember that when white friends would either come over or learned about that, they were really surprised. they lived with us until their deaths, my grandfather 12 years ago and my grandmother just recently 6 months ago.

    trust me, it is a rarity for me to know people my age (23) who have had their grandparents live with them or be practically in their life everyday for as long as that.

    and for 2: i laughed when i read this. just because i agree to this because my sisters and i, and a few cousins, sometimes display this. i know it may not apply to every asian. but it does to us.

  • 3 Peter // Mar 27, 2008 at 10:53 am

    Thanks for the confirmation. =)

  • 4 Grace Chu // Mar 27, 2008 at 11:18 am

    Well once the child becomes an adult, the focus shifts to the parents. Children are expected to take care of their elderly parents and not toss them into nursing homes. This is a hidden reason why children are expected to succeed, which I think you touched upon here: “[A]sians know that they will rely very heavily on the future successes of their children.”

    “How the hell are you supposed to take care of me if you get that degree in Comparative Literature? Get your ass to medical school!”

  • 5 YASPY Chick // Mar 27, 2008 at 11:44 am

    Do US Asians have seniors’ homes that cater specifically to Asians, like Yee Hong in Toronto? Yee Hong has a major fundraising gala called the Dragon Ball each year (usually the first weekend of Chinese New Year) and it’s considered a big deal.

  • 6 Justin // Mar 27, 2008 at 2:28 pm

    I haven’t heard of something like Yee Hong in the US, but we might have something similar? It’s just unthinkable for me to have my grandparents live in a seniors’ home.

  • 7 namakemono // Mar 28, 2008 at 2:32 pm

    “Asian fidelity in marriage is extremely high” – don`t make me laugh! No male member of my Chinese “dh”`s family has been faithful to his wife!

  • 8 wordtoyourmother // Mar 30, 2008 at 5:04 pm

    “Asian fidelity in marriage is extremely high” – roger that, namakemono. Asian fidelity in marriage is practically nonexistent! I don’t know who wrote this post, but you are living in a dream world.

  • 9 Jane // Apr 2, 2008 at 1:17 pm

    Huh? Have you ever actually encountered any white families? I am probably pretty typically white, and I don’t recall being “weened from motherly affection at the age of 4.” Nor would I say that was the experience of any other white people I know.

  • 10 Anonymous // Apr 10, 2008 at 12:39 pm

    I would agree with Jane–parent/child affection (both in younger or later years) is there among western people. It is just expressed differently, with more emphasis or different expectations of independence and/or privacy. I once invited my mother-in-law to stay with us after a (somewhat minor) surgery, and while I was gone at the store, she got up and left because she “missed [her] own bed.” We get along very well and love each other very much and try to help each other. Living together, however, would be very unlikely.

  • 11 HaiRui // May 14, 2008 at 1:16 pm

    I think what the author meant by fidelity in marriage is that despite the male philandering, it usually won’t break up the family structure. If the man is cheating, then the wife won’t divorce him as readily as a white woman would.

    This may go out of style as Asians become less traditional in a globalized world, and culture shifts. A good (Chinese) friend of mine in her 30′s has parents who married each other a long time ago, but those parents sleep in separate beds, and the marriage is without love. It’s sad that it had to happen, but her parents won’t break up due to tradition. Maybe a more modern Asian couple would.

  • 12 josie // Jul 16, 2008 at 2:28 pm

    “Asians grow up respecting their elders, and do not merely see their relatives as friends or acquaintances. This is why asians never address their family members by their first names. It is considered extremely rude, so asians show their respects by appending the ‘uncle” or ‘aunt” monikers.”

    Oh, so true! I still cringe each and every time a youngster addresses me by my first name. So disrespectful! And to hear a child refer to mom and dad as “Mary” or “Bob”…….it makes my skin crawl!

    Love this site!

  • 13 Rebecca // Mar 24, 2009 at 10:31 am

    I disagree with the part about marriage fidelity. I think you mean to say DIVORCE rates are lower. But infidelity, on the part of men, is equal, if not higher than in Western Society. In some Asian countries, women still have not attained the same social status as males, and cheating by their husbands is not viewed as anything extraordinary.

  • 14 florist // Nov 18, 2009 at 10:48 am

    It was nice going through it. keep it up the good work.
    –thanks–

  • 15 Andy // Jan 20, 2010 at 7:46 am

    Omg wow this is so true, in every single way.

    to me and my life anyways. my parents are always giving me those typical asian lectures on how i have to do good in school and stuff so i have money lol

  • 16 People these days... (*shakes finger*) // Mar 21, 2010 at 4:40 am

    @Rebecca, so true. The fidelity thing is totally false, but DIVORCE rates are much much lower. Asian women will not divorce as readily as their white counterparts.

  • 17 Yanatsu // Oct 31, 2010 at 8:12 am

    I was raised by whites:(…and right now I feel the need of an asian group, a community with people like me, and I’m very afraid to approach other asians…I lived in the spirit of my own asian culture all my life and by myself…feels kinda “rownry”…

    I always try to hang out in places with asian people…but what should I do to approach them?

    Oh and there is the fact that people get me confused with a white person…because of my nose… =((

  • 18 Jack De Sanchez // Dec 19, 2011 at 6:39 am

    Yanatsu, dont worry, i sort of feel the same. i like hanging out with other asians, but i dont have the confidence too, Im half Vietnamese and i was raised by my mother and i get kind if scared sometimes, you know i have a large nose too, there is nothing to be ashamed of :)

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