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#25 Staring at People

Posted March 5th, 2008 by Peter · 71 Comments
36,428 views

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“I get a lot of stare from Asians. I get it everyday. I used to feel very uncomfortable about it. Now I’m kinda used to it but wtf Why? Do you stare at other Asians? or be stared?” - UglyMan

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All people stare, but Asians stare... for a long, long time. Oftentimes, the stare lasts longer than the 1-2 second courtesy glance. Staring is human nature one may argue just as people like to scan their eyes across the horizon for whatever peaks interest. A guy can stare to check out a hot girl. A girl can stare to dog another girl. People stare to make fun of others with abnormal features or attitudes. However, the Asian Stare tends to break the American social norm because the Asian Stare is very distinct.

Perhaps what makes it distinct is the length, facial expression, and other things that are difficult to describe in words. The Stare is one of those things you need to experience for yourself to know. It makes a self-conscious victim feel weak, demoralized, and provokes the ever-so-common self-questioning: Why?! Is there something on my face? Do I look weird? This is a normal defense mechanism in Asia, where people are used to staring and being stared at. However, this can be quite intimidating to receive the first time.

If you haven’t been aware of the Asian Stare, then you should take a field trip to Stare Central (aka China Town), Japanese Town, Korea Town, Little Saigon, or pandamany others. If you go to China or any other Asian country and you are White, Black, Hispanic, or non-Asian in general, then you will be treated like a panda. A panda? Yes, a panda. Pandas are a very cute and cuddly. They need attention. However, they are also tourist attractions which are in turn exploited to the greatest extent. Have you ever noticed why Asian Restaurants have such large glass windows? This is so that passersby’s can see if there is a non-asian person in the restaurant. Besides allowing people to choose their food without actually knowing an asian language, they are also there so that Asians can utilize the Asian Stare without actually being in the same building as a foreigner. For this reason, Asians possess the same powers as Super Man because they can use their eyes as evil weapons even through walls!









tallnessBecause extreme xenophobia exists in asians everywhere, Asians use the stare to warn their young about strangers before they may approach them. For example, you will never find a 6′4″ person in Vietnam unless it is a tourist or inhabitant with a pituitary gland disorder. Asians are naturally afraid of these giants, but still feel the need to stare from a very far distance. The asian stare not only works to invoke fear, it is also used to protect asians. This leaves a few questions to be answered:

What is a stare? How long should you have eye-contact? Are you scared now? These questions can be answered by taking a stroll to your nearest asian themed town or county. Whether it be China, Korea, Philippine, or Vietnam Town, one thing will be held constant: The Asian Stare.

Here’s an “Asian” girl, Mrian, famous for staring on Youtube:

Last 5 posts by Peter









Tags: Activities · Chinese · Customs · Habits · Hobbies · People · Sports · Vietnamese

71 responses so far ↓

  • 1 LOL // Mar 6, 2008 at 7:39 am

    I hate the Asian Stare. It happens often and its actually incredibly rude.

    I’m pretty sure the staring is to check the other person out– their clothes, their face, the way they act– in order to compare with them.

    That should be another entry: #26 Comparing with Other People, be it how smart/skinny/talented their Asian kids are, how much money another Asian makes, how big another Asian’s house is, etc. Asians love to compare and they love to be the best. And they compare partly by ~staring~ and scoping out the competition.

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  • 2 LOL // Mar 6, 2008 at 7:44 am

    PS: Actually, people outside of the US, be they Asian or European or Latin American, tend to stare at strangers more openly. Americans are generally taught its rude to stare.

    I’ve traveled a bit and a lot of French people and Mexcians will stare openly at you if you are an ~exotic panda~ (Asian). I’ve heard bad things about being Asian and traveling in Spain or Itay (a lot of stares, a lot of harassment).

    Actually, maybe the Asian Stare isn’t that bad, because I’ve never heard of Asians attacking or harassing foreigners further than staring rudely at them.

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  • 3 Justin // Mar 6, 2008 at 11:43 am

    Wow. Useful experience from traveling! =)

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  • 4 ~m // Mar 6, 2008 at 11:45 am

    I just came across this site from a link i found on Stuff White People Like…this entry is so true! I lived in Korea for 4 years and that happened constantly, esp. when I was living in a rural town. One time, two women were staring at me so intently they fell off the sidewalk^^
    When I moved to Incheon, it happened the most when I would appear in places that foreigners weren’t expected, like climbing the mountain.
    In general I just came to take it for granted even though I never enjoyed it and learned to ignore it, altho my tolerance level would vary from day to day. And then when I came back to the U.S., it felt weird to NOT be stared at…

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  • 5 Anonymous // Mar 6, 2008 at 3:24 pm

    This is wrong. Mexicans have much nastier stares and do it all the time.

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  • 6 Sean Newton // Mar 6, 2008 at 5:34 pm

    White folks can out-stare the asian stare, as long as they’re doing it behind sunglasses so they don’t feel like they’re being rude with it.

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  • 7 Anonymous // Mar 6, 2008 at 7:55 pm

    this does not apply to all asian people. for instance, in japan, while, say, riding the subway it would actually be considered rude to stare or look at other people. the passengers really don’t look at each other much, let alone stare.

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  • 8 ed // Mar 7, 2008 at 12:59 pm

    does the Asian stare look anything like the German stare?

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  • 9 Justin // Mar 7, 2008 at 1:17 pm

    what does the german stare look like?

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  • 10 Hmm? // Mar 7, 2008 at 1:58 pm

    Typical German stare:
    http://i30.tinypic.com/359kbvd.jpg

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  • 11 Asian Invastion // Mar 7, 2008 at 4:45 pm

    # 7 Anonymous:

    Yes, you are correct. It seems as though Japan is the anomoly in that they, and Singapore, are the only countries in Asia which pays more attention to public manners than even the US. As for the rest of Asia? The attitude is, “There is no public space. It’s all mine and I am king of my domain.”

    However, I find that Korea is slowly changing and becoming more consious about public manners and space. China, Thailand, Vietnam, Indonesia? Forget it.

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  • 12 Hwang // Mar 7, 2008 at 6:43 pm

    Staring confers dominance over its victim.

    The Korean stare is the eye of Ghengis Khan.

    I love staring.

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  • 13 Justin // Mar 11, 2008 at 5:38 am

    ahh! this mrian girl scares me!

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  • 14 Danny // Mar 11, 2008 at 4:34 pm

    As a fellow asian, I find it extremely irritating being stared at by elderly asians. I make it painfully obvious that I know they’re starring at me yet they still hold eye contact for at least 3 more seconds…

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  • 15 Nat // Mar 11, 2008 at 9:32 pm

    The Mrian girl isn’t Asian, is she?? I thought she was white. Her videos scare me hahaha and so many people mock her… it’s hilarious.

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  • 16 Justin // Mar 11, 2008 at 9:43 pm

    she’s japanese…or half, but yeah she’s freaky…i read up on her and supposedly it’s for a horror movie or something (pretty random guesses from people)…or she just likes to stare

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  • 17 Number17 // Mar 12, 2008 at 12:18 pm

    BWAHAHAHAH!

    I can’t believe that anyone actually thought that MRirian is Asian. No, no she is not. She used to be a frequenter at our forum and actually lives in the United States.

    She is red-blooded American with no Asian in her whatsoever.

    She is in fact from Pennsylvania and has close ties to a type of Amish religion.

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  • 18 Justin // Mar 12, 2008 at 3:18 pm

    i knew she lives in penn, but i don’t know about not being asian…but i guess u sound like u know her so ill trust your word. many sites say she’s japanese and she herself pretends to be japanese.

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  • 19 Number17 // Mar 13, 2008 at 7:38 pm

    Yeah, she just pretends.

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  • 20 perfectlynice?? // Mar 19, 2008 at 12:41 am

    So true, my daughter who is a halfie was stared at constantly when she visited Asia. She got used to it after a while. She is physically gorgeous with golden long curly hair.

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  • 21 Urameshi // Mar 19, 2008 at 6:16 pm

    MRirian is a regular at our forum. i can’t remember what her username is but you should ask some of the other members there. Most know loads about Japan just like her. ^_^

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  • 22 craziforsythia // Apr 1, 2008 at 6:11 pm

    Is it weird that I Asian-stared back at the video for the full duration without any feeling of intimidation or embarassment?

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  • 23 Justin // Apr 1, 2008 at 10:19 pm

    lol

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  • 24 Anonymous // Apr 3, 2008 at 2:46 pm

    No, crazy, I did that too. YOU THINK YOU CAN OUTSTARE ME, EH?

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  • 25 Anonymous // Apr 4, 2008 at 6:15 am

    “Have you ever noticed why Asian Restaurants have such large glass windows? This is so that passersby’s can see if there is a non-asian person in the restaurant. ”

    Nonsense…

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  • 26 Chrissy // Apr 5, 2008 at 6:44 pm

    Wow, she’s annoying.

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  • 27 sy88 // Apr 14, 2008 at 12:42 am

    “Is it weird that I Asian-stared back at the video for the full duration without any feeling of intimidation or embarassment?”

    Not at all. I did as well. She has unnaturally big eyes. Very big, very hypnotising. Hypnotizing but annoying…Gee, that’s all you have to do to become a youtube sensation? Why didn’t I think of that?

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  • 28 sy88 // Apr 14, 2008 at 12:46 am

    Oh wait, I know why…

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  • 29 Visitor // Apr 15, 2008 at 7:49 pm

    This is nothing compared to a Jewish New Yorker female. They are intentionally rude.

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  • 30 easypeasy // Apr 16, 2008 at 10:53 pm

    oh my, exactly what I’m looking for. I am Asian and I hate it when other people do to me. The way some do it, is to stare hard at your face, then move the glance downwards until your feet then up again. It’s not really checking you out or something, it’s a kind of judgmental evaluation, about your wealth or clothes, moral values etc etc depending on the situation. It’s URGGGGG!!!!!

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  • 31 Anonymous // Apr 25, 2008 at 9:48 am

    Asians don’t just stare at non-Asians…they stare at fellow Asians too…especially at Asian-Americans. We got stared at all the time when were in China, and just this morning in Brooklyn, I got the stare down…and i don’t get it, especially in NYC where there are loads of Asians.

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  • 32 newyorker // May 11, 2008 at 9:40 am

    I’m an Asian living in NYC and I get the stare quite frequently from fellow Asians of all ages. However, the most rude and aggravating stare comes from the elders. They stare at you as if you’re the filthiest thing in the world.

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  • 33 Steve // May 13, 2008 at 9:45 pm

    Mrian is annoyingly cute.

    I’m asian and I don’t stare too often. Only when white people show up in asian restaurants. That’s because I want to see their character as if I was on LSD. On LSD I would see right Through u. My MOM on the other hand. Hopefully shiet. I have to yell at her to tell her to stop starring. Annoying as hell. So I have to say this is true to some extent.

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  • 34 susy // May 21, 2008 at 6:29 pm

    im NOT AN ASIAN! hahahahaha i STARE at ASIANS bye bye

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  • 35 angela // Jun 1, 2008 at 11:29 am

    I stare but only if the person doesnt know. My mom on the other hand stares at ppl for hours not caring if its rude or not. I have to keep telling her to stop.
    she just says “yow ngon tai” in canto which means you use eyes to look

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  • 36 Mike // Jun 10, 2008 at 1:24 am

    I’m a white Canadian living in Tokyo. I find the staring/looking kinda varies by age and area. Japanese women will tend to glance at me in short bursts, and look away if I notice. I make a lot of eye contact with young women quite a bit. It’s almost a strange little game. I look at her, she looks at me, and looks away when I look at her, and I look away when she looks at me. It’s a good way to kill time while riding the train anyway. And it doesn’t bother me, because a lot of the women in Japan are very pleasing on the eyes. :)

    In other areas of Japan, like Kyoto, or Nara, or Osaka, they tend to look more frequently but not all that much. Older people and guys in general don’t really stare at me at all. Particularily guys in business suits etc. They might take one quick look and that’s it, usually. Probably just a passing observation that I’m not Japanese. I think all people in general like to just glance at other people, because other people are interesting to us. I especially like glancing at the pretty girls. :P I can’t really help that, but I never stare. Just short glances here and there and I find Japanese people don’t stare, just occasionally there is the one strange one that really just stares at me, but I’ve encountered this among Canadians as well, so I think that it’s just an individual personality thing.

    I have good peripheral vision, so I usually know when anyone in a room is looking at me. Another strange thing that has happened to me is a couple of times some Japanese kids wearing their student uniforms have come up to me asking me questions, or asking to take a picture with me, or just saying hello to me while walking by and then giggling with their friends. Those are strange things to have happen to me. But I enjoyed the experiences. I was happy to indulge the kids, and I think it’s good that these kids didn’t feel too shy to come talk to me or other foreigners. It’s good experience for them. I think cross cultural communication should be greatly encouraged.

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  • 37 Anonymous // Jun 10, 2008 at 11:25 pm

    i’m asian and notice how a lot of asians stare at me but non-asians always stare too. if i’m at a chinese buffet, the white people always stare at me. it’s like, “what the fuck are you looking at? is there a problem?” i don’t know. i never do that to other people. ugh…

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  • 38 runningburro // Jun 24, 2008 at 12:46 am

    I’m a white U.S. citizen spending the year in China, and I experience the Asian stare every single day. I don’t mind if people stare out of curiosity — it’s weird, but, hey, different strokes for different folks (and doesn’t everyone like to “people watch”?). What I do hate is being stared at with hostility, with that “foreigners-are-the-devil” look). This happens sometimes, and I usually get it from unemployed thuggish males or middle-ages business men. In retaliation, I (1) outstare them (Chinese are weenies when it comes to holding eye contact) or (2) take their photo (that is, turn them into the exhibit).

    It makes me laugh when I’m waiting at a bus stop and people ride past on their bikes and turn all the way around (all the while, still peddling) just to get a better look.

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  • 39 Larry // Jul 5, 2008 at 10:55 pm

    I am mixed and I get more stares than a white guy.. then again maybe not since most asians expect you to have slant eyes or be overly asian before they give you the mixed marker.. then again alot of asian guys hates mixed guys.. haha it’s really pathetic that asians stare like that.. they deserve any stares they get from other races :)

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  • 40 blkguylovesazngirls // Jul 19, 2008 at 6:52 pm

    I was with a Chinese lady-friend one afternoon a couple of years back (in the states, in Milpitas, in the Bay Area) and I was receiving this constant stare from this Asian gentleman….who I guess was with family.

    What was weird, even when we were going out to the car; the man and his family were driving past…just staaaaring away.

    My lady-friend didn’t notice; and I think if things were different, I would have mentioned something about it.

    Still, pretty interesting.

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  • 41 Starer // Jul 22, 2008 at 5:22 pm

    Wow, I never knew other people stare…I stare at people all the time, but I never notice people staring back, except when I’m in China. xD
    Some of my classmates are creeped out by because they caught me staring at them for a long time, even though sometimes I was just zoning out. .__.;;

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  • 42 oh wow // Jul 25, 2008 at 12:09 pm

    lets find yet another thing to complain about.

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  • 43 jennifer // Jul 26, 2008 at 9:24 pm

    Well I’m not even asian but i guess i look asian because my asian friends say i look chinese but I’m actually hispanic. and every time i go to a chinese restaurant, i get constant stares from the asian waitresses and i try to ignore it but it happens in all asian restaurants. Probably because my parents are Hispanic even though they look asian sort of not my sister though, well i don’t really know.

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  • 44 Anonymous // Jul 27, 2008 at 4:25 am

    “Have you ever noticed why Asian Restaurants have such large glass windows? This is so that passersby’s can see if there is a non-asian person in the restaurant.”

    Seriously? Or is it because Asian people are used to open eating places, and this is a way to apply the concept while protecting the interior from outdoor pollution? Look at Asian (mostly Chinese) period movies and you’ll see the eateries are almost wall-less. There’s almost no boundary between inside and outside.

    I hope the above quoted statement wasn’t made in bad faith against Asians! I’m Asian by the way, and here in my country we have restaurants with large windows and we almost never give a damn about the people inside.

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  • 45 kim // Jul 29, 2008 at 8:59 am

    jennifer, that’s because no matter how you may look asian. IF you are NOT Asian, we will hate you…

    no offense

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  • 46 Tyrone // Aug 12, 2008 at 10:56 am

    I like dem aZN GiRlZ. Azn pRidE FasHo. oh wait i’m black.

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  • 47 andy // Aug 15, 2008 at 11:25 am

    Yeah, I’m white and this kind of helps to explain things for me. I always wondered why they do that. I thought there was something weird about me at first. Usually I just stare them back until they start walking even faster and glancing down and back nervously. It’s kind of weird because I always thought as a part of their culture that Asians are usually supposed to avoid excessive eye contact, even when talking to people, and are more submissive by nature. This is the opposite. And I’m in America too. Oh well, now I’ll know better and not get so pissed off maybe.

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  • 48 christiansbale // Aug 23, 2008 at 1:26 am

    Hey Mike, you’re a creepy dude.

    In Hawaii, those white tourists always stare…really unbelievable. I just give them the look that Tom Sizemore gave to that truck driver in “Heat”.

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  • 49 Hana B // Oct 14, 2008 at 10:40 pm

    Ugh. I hate the Asian-stare (or any stare). I’m shy so I just squirm on the inside when I get any stares. I don’t think young Asian girls do the Asian stare that much, at least where I live - Canada. I get it from older Asian women and younger Asian guys. I understand if it’s done in a country where it’s normal or not rude but it’s rude to do so in Canada! So please, for the sake of many people’s comfort, stop staring starers! (Directed at people of any race who use the Asian-stare).

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  • 50 kc // Nov 1, 2008 at 3:22 pm

    I was born in China but moved to US. lol i remember one time when I went back to visit during the summer, I was totally unprepared for the “stare”. I was walking in the street and this man walking towards me started staring at me from a distance and never stopped. I was thinking, “Why is he staring at me, do I have something on my face or something?” I couldn’t take it after it went on for what seemed like forever, lol. So I smiled at him, thinking it would make him stop staring at me. LOL that did not work. He kept staring, and this time it was even weirder.

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  • 51 Michael Jackson // Nov 4, 2008 at 6:41 pm

    That Magibon girl is annoying and has some jacked up teeth
    I like QiQi better

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  • 52 Jen // Nov 7, 2008 at 9:14 am

    Im chinese, but I have NEVER heard of such a thing. lol when you put it this way, it sounds kind of funny.

    I think its flattering when guys lock eyes with me.

    Miran’s face: “hehehe Im going to f*ck u with a steak knife!”

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  • 53 Karen // Nov 25, 2008 at 7:44 pm

    Mrian isn’t asian. She’s as white as can be.

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  • 54 D // Nov 27, 2008 at 2:03 pm

    ahahaha. funny, my dad just returned from a trip to china and said he forgot how much people like to stare, in those parts. and that he forgot how short everyone is, because he actually is 6′4.

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  • 55 Yune // Dec 5, 2008 at 6:01 am

    I did not know we Asians had a stare, but now that you mention it, I suppose I do , it occurs sometimes Though I think the people in my country are not very good at making eye contact. We tend to advert our eyes or burst out laughing if we’re staring at a friend.

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  • 56 scared // Dec 15, 2008 at 9:02 pm

    Please keep the asian stare where the majority like to impose it, thank you!

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  • 57 anon // Jan 3, 2009 at 7:07 pm

    Commenter #2 I wish you were right. Unfortunately, I have a plethora of horror stories from Asian Americans and non-Asian Americans, especially non-Asian American girls, getting harassed by Asian people in Asian countries. I know a lot of pretty non-Asian girls who had Japanese, Chinese and Korean businessmen making offers to have sex with them for thousands of (US) dollars, grabbing them and pulling them into alleys and bathrooms, etc. Asia is not this well-mannered place. Crimes are underreported by their media, etc. People there are nasty just like anywhere else. My red-headed sister had an awful time in Tokyo, men would not leave her alone. :/

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  • 58 dbals // Jan 5, 2009 at 1:25 pm

    hehehe…. :-) I used to stare intently at the white chicks in office just when they are not looking, but I guess they can feel me looking at them. I stare at them for weeks continuously until she gets used to it and then just totally avoid looking at her like she’s nothing. Now the starer will get stared. She will start looking at me expecting the stare. It’s a fun game, try it.

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  • 59 Han // Jan 11, 2009 at 8:58 pm

    I envy MRians eyes. They are so big and beautiful!!

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  • 60 Amber // May 17, 2009 at 10:28 pm

    I primarily get the stare from asian girls (I’m a caucasian girl). It is an eerie, uncomfortable feeling, as though I am being appraised when I’m just going about my business. I live in Seattle where there are many asians, and without a doubt if I catch an asian girl out of the corner of my eye and wait a beat, then look at her, she’ll be giving me the death ray stare. It goes up and down, then stays at your eyes until you have to look away (and sometimes just laugh). There is not much recognition in the look that would suggest they are beholding a fellow human. It is cold and distancing. But, for some reason it doesn’t manifest the same way around white guys… hm.

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  • 61 Lyn not LIN! // Jul 8, 2009 at 11:15 am

    I find old Asian woman to glare at me for minutes straight. I want to bash their head in…
    I know what they are thinking. They are judging me for taking away the rare tall Asian man. He’s mine! And I wont be ashamed! When it is a white guy glaring at us. I stare and ask “what?” But when I say that to an Asian woman, she scoffs to herself and shakes her head in disgust. Well, you disgust me too.

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  • 62 Ameera // Aug 2, 2009 at 6:02 pm

    i get this all the time. Im asian too and whenever theres another asian on the street they get happy and just stare at me. Even when im with non-asian friends they wont stare at them but only me. im just like wow yes i am asian too but seriously u dont have to stare

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  • 63 A Fly For A Dad // Sep 8, 2009 at 11:54 pm

    my dad never notices that he’s staring at someone. his eyes seem to bulge out and he barely has any eyebrows, which makes him look even more intimidating. we ask him, \what if someone stared at you like that?\ and he’d reply, \then I just keep staring until they look away. like hell if I care that someone keeps looking at me.\ yet he can never tolerate what he expects others to tolerate from him.

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  • 64 DanB // Oct 5, 2009 at 4:29 pm

    The best two things you can do to counter the Asian Stare:

    1. Take a picture of the offender, or act like you’re going to do so with your camera/phone/etc. They suddenly find something more interesting to gape at.

    2. Figure out the dominant local dialect in your Chinatown and learn how to shout loudly WHY ARE YOU STARING, WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT? in it. Public humiliation mortifies them.

    3. The above, but YOU’VE BEEN HERE LONG ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT’S RUDE is especially humiliating.

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  • 65 Xin // Nov 28, 2009 at 10:12 pm

    Actually “Asian Staring” at a foreigner is not a threat.. it is admiration and strangely new to them. And also a dollar sign, in who they can fool to sell them for a double prize while they think they bought it really cheap!! lol. But “Asian Satring” at another ASIAN is a whole different story!! Asian vs. Asian stare is really measuring ones chinky eyes!! lol. how big their eyes is?? What kind of Asian they are?? etc. Also size of their bank acount from the way they dress..

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  • 66 KoreanClass101.com Blog » Blog Archive » You lookin’ at me? Staring in Korea // Dec 28, 2009 at 1:39 pm

    [...] your eye on some more? Well, more than just Koreans are doing the staring. Apparently, it’s an Asian thing. What if you’re just minding your own business with a friend of the opposite sex? Sadly, this [...]

  • 67 Josie // Jan 21, 2010 at 1:12 pm

    One time I was at McDonalds’, ans this Asian guy was with his Asian girl friend. He was probably a couple of years older than me like 16 or 17. I was so creeped out. But now I know why!

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  • 68 Sex (and race) in the City « Reverse Immigration // Feb 1, 2010 at 4:49 am

    [...] many instances.  People frequently spoke Canto to her, something they never do to me.  They also stared at her constantly.  Men stared at her in a way that would be considered lecherous in the West.  I [...]

  • 69 DailyBento » Blog Archive » Stuff Asian People Like #25 – Staring at People // Feb 28, 2010 at 3:01 pm

    [...] here to read [...]

  • 70 kny // Mar 2, 2010 at 5:22 am

    i tend to stare at people i think are unaware of me if they meet my gaze i hold eye contact just long enough to convey that i was casually appraising them or satisfying some curiosity i had
    if i notice that im being stared at and decide to reciprocate (lol wordy) i rarely break eye contact first but here in northern California u pretty much get stared at by all creeds and colors and its generally non-confrontational
    (btw white guy here)

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  • 71 Komo // Mar 3, 2010 at 7:58 pm

    I think I’m guilty of being the one staring at Asians… But it’s only because they’re so damn good-looking. ^^

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