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#5 Bargains

Posted February 17th, 2008 by Peter · 21 Comments
15,606 views

Asian people are very clever. When asians walk into asian shops, they know what they want and the price that they are willing to pay. Asians proceed to barter and bargain until their price is met. However, the shop owner, more times than none, has probably seen the same routine several times that same day. It is the shop owners job to hike up the prices so that non-asian people can be deceived. This is how the shop owner makes their “profit“. Asians know that when something says 20 dollars, it actually means 3 or 4. It’s a secret asian law.

After the asian completes their bargain, it is only necessary and proper, as a friend or coworker to complement them. Asians like bragging about how much money they saved, even if it is only 1 or 2 dollars. It shows how mentally adept and thrifty they are. They are maximizing utility and marginal costs at all times. Due to this, you should know that presents asians give are never the price the box says. Chances are, the “for sale” price tag has been removed to enforce the Asian’s wealth and prosperity.









Disclaimer: Beware! Bartering is not for everyone. Asians know better than to bargain at Walmart or Target. It is only safe to barter at flea markets and small asian shops in China Town. However, it can be very humorous to try.

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Tags: Activities · Culture · People · Products · Work

21 responses so far ↓

  • 1 thebest // Feb 17, 2008 at 2:44 pm

    Dude.. this is exactly like my mom.

  • 2 Bryan // Feb 18, 2008 at 6:16 pm

    Some FOBs will try to Barter at Normal Stores!

    At my store, every once in a while a middle eastern woman would come into the drug store and try to barter the price down….it was hilarious….they’d try every underhanded tactic in the book including claiming a defect was in it 2 minutes after buying it.

    They were convinced they could get a lower price….they were right! Usually 25% off….took forever, but they saved $10 and then had me load their prize into an Escalade.

  • 3 Peter // Feb 18, 2008 at 10:05 pm

    that’s so funny! lol

  • 4 Chinkygirl // Feb 26, 2008 at 3:38 pm

    dude this is by far the best article! love it! i love to bargain especially at ross…try to point out the flaws for that 15% discount, no returns/exchange haha

  • 5 Ari // Feb 29, 2008 at 2:08 pm

    You know what makes Stuff White People Like funny? It’s self-efacing.

    You know what makes this really lame? Every joke is “haha Asians are so great compared to the wide eyes”.

  • 6 stuffdesislike // Mar 11, 2008 at 9:24 pm

    [...] are widely acclaimed to be expert bargain hunters. But saying that would be a huuuge dis-service to desis. Desis, in [...]

  • 7 AC // Mar 26, 2008 at 11:47 am

    Technically this blog is self-effacing because it’s satire. Asians never talk about this kind of stuff, it’s really only the newer generation of Asians who have grown up in Western cultures that notice the prevalence of behaviours and habits. It’s a cultural thing, if you didn’t grow up with it or aren’t familiar with the culture, you’d probably see it as insulting or offensive or that we’re promoting our own. Most of the posts here aren’t intended to promote Asians as being the best, they’re just hilarious explanations for all sorts of behaviour that, for some unspoken and inexplicable reason, is uniform across all Asian families (well, definitely the Chinese anyway).

    Speaking of bargains, I have a friend who has a sixth sense for bargains and expends unbelievable time and effort to hunt them out. He’s like a bloodhound for deals, just automatically calculates what is the most economical place to park, place to eat, what menu items to order to get the most out of his money. That is why Asians like Boxing Day shopping and will line up at 5am, freezing in the cold, outside Futureshop or Best Buy to buy that new plasma TV or LCD monitor or DVD player. Or they’ll be first in line for an all-nighter at Ikea when they’re giving away one piece of free furniture to the first 60 people in line (I must admit I allowed my friend to drag me to that, though I did get a decent dresser out of it). There were Asians playing mah-jongg there in line too, hahaa.

  • 8 Toby // Mar 27, 2008 at 7:52 am

    Why is Chinatown two words? China Town?

  • 9 HC // Apr 2, 2008 at 8:34 am

    lol my mom will try to bargain at dept stores! gotta love our asian moms :)

  • 10 Justin // Apr 2, 2008 at 10:59 am

    haha mine too…especially if there’s a flaw in the clothing…bargain for the discount

  • 11 Mikko // Apr 14, 2008 at 10:51 am

    My mom loves to go on flea markets during weekends. Bargain ’til she drops.

    :D

    (I’m from the Philippines)

  • 12 Justin // Apr 14, 2008 at 11:45 am

    lol, mine too!

  • 13 IfYanCanCook // Aug 23, 2008 at 2:49 pm

    My Mom bargained down her Chinese dentist! I was embarassed, but she insisted this was the Chinese way and that the dentist understood. Was I amazed when she got her filling rate down from $125 per tooth to $80! And of course, she paid him in cash!

  • 14 Agiel7 // Sep 6, 2008 at 8:32 pm

    I seem to recall my mother once taking me to a Toyota dealership in order to buy a new car, and staying there for eight long hours of bargaining with the dealer until the man was in tears.

  • 15 ladycloud // Feb 7, 2009 at 12:26 am

    This is so hilarious. I was in tears laughing while reading all these comments. They are so true! My cousin’s husband, who is a salesman, told me that Asians (especially Chinese and Indians) are the worst customers. They bargain to death. On the other hand, their kids are just the exact opposite. It seems to me sales people stir away from Asian ladies. It’s personal experience. Ha ha ha.

  • 16 AsianKid // Feb 15, 2009 at 10:06 am

    Yeah, My mother bargains even at normal sotres – basically, she even maaged to negotiate 50% off my drivng school. And of course, there’s the matter of groceries…

  • 17 PearlynRae // Mar 23, 2009 at 4:18 am

    everytime i go on family vacation to the Philippines my mother and my aunties are always the ones to take me to the markets. I’m not allowed to openly speak in english (otherwise the stall owners hike up the price for “the ignorant foreigner!”) and my mom and her sisters will do everything straight out of the stereotypical asian bargaining text book…

    …from walking away saying “you’ve lost the sale” etc (in tagalog of course), down right teasing the sales person by saying “aww you’re cheating me”… “come on…. you can make it lower for me, look we’re buying so much!”… “we’re coming back to the markets tomorrow for more shopping, we’ll come back to your stall and buy more!”

    i swear it’s all burnt into my memory now, if i ever want to bargain whenever i go to a market… i’ll just pretend to be my mother and aunties xD!

  • 18 Yashmine // Jul 5, 2009 at 1:45 am

    This is hilariously true.

  • 19 meh // Sep 20, 2009 at 2:42 am

    guilty.

  • 20 lolol // Jan 16, 2010 at 7:57 am

    “Go talk to your boss” is the best one :D

  • 21 komerican_chick94 // Aug 2, 2011 at 10:36 pm

    I get my bargain and shopping skeelz from my mom.

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