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#4 Bowl Haircuts

Posted February 16th, 2008 by themachine · 29 Comments
40,009 views

Formerly worn by the Beatles and Moe Howard of the Three Stooges, the bowl haircut is symbolic of musical greatness and comedic genius. As a result, it’s only natural that this beautiful styling of the hair graces the heads of the world’s greatest and largest race, Asians. Currently, the bowl haircut represents two things. First, it shows non-Asian people that they are still connected to their roots, AKA the third world countries where people can’t afford food, housing, or Playstation 3s. The bowl cut is a reminder of the hard times and is intended to keep the prosperous Asian community in the United States grounded and true to their real identity. Secondly, it’s a proverbial middle finger to all of the other races. The bowl haircut accentuates the intelligence, confidence, and athleticism that all Asian people possess. Outsiders will see the bowl haircut and will become filled with self hatred and depression due to their lack of superiority. But don’t worry my non-Asian friends; you too can achieve the bowl haircut. I’ve included instructions below:

Step 1: Get a bowl that fits the unique shape of your inferior heads. This step is the most difficult.

Step 2: When you finally find the right bowl, place it on top of your head.









Step 3: Take scissors and proceed to cut the hair around the edge of the bowl.

Step 4: When you inevitably mess up, go to an Asian salon to get it done right.

Step 5: Congratulations! You are less inferior than you were before!

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Tags: Activities · Culture · People

29 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Peter // Feb 17, 2008 at 2:45 pm

    I had one until I was like 12

  • 2 Allen // Feb 17, 2008 at 9:45 pm

    i love step 5.

  • 3 Justus // Feb 19, 2008 at 11:22 am

    the inferior/superior thing is totally not funny.

  • 4 Justin // Feb 19, 2008 at 12:07 pm

    it’s just a joke

  • 5 Dr. Chan // Feb 20, 2008 at 5:04 pm

    Moo, i had one recently.

  • 6 khang // Feb 26, 2008 at 2:21 pm

    i think when you’re an asian kid you can only have 2 styles to choose from, the bowl or the buzz cut, well maybe 3 the buzz cut with the tail. i think i’ll break the tradition and give my kid a jehri curl or a mullet.

  • 7 Chinkygirl // Feb 26, 2008 at 3:37 pm

    yeah, but i think the bowl cut looked cute on my lil brother!

  • 8 Aussie Teacher // Feb 29, 2008 at 1:38 am

    not an Asian, but a teacher of Asians, great to get a Western Asian take on things. Sometimes the things my students think just baffle me. The superiority thing is definitely true, but hey they’re paying to learn my language not the other way round…. yet!

  • 9 Peter // Feb 29, 2008 at 3:17 am

    =)

  • 10 Lisa // Mar 25, 2008 at 8:55 pm

    OK! Seriously fellow Asians! If you are going to show a Asian guy with a bowl haircut, let it be a real Asian and not Rob Schneider yellow-facing us. It is funny but to show a real Asian with a bowl haircut, let’s get a real Asian.

  • 11 Griffin // Apr 5, 2008 at 4:53 pm

    rob’s mom is fillipino!

  • 12 Ray // Jun 23, 2008 at 4:22 am

    Rob Schneider is half asian. so his picture counts somewhat. I got a bowl-cut once just to make fun of the stereotype.

  • 13 Free Flash Games // Dec 2, 2008 at 6:03 pm

    I still have my bowl cut. More layered though.

  • 14 PearlynRae // Mar 23, 2009 at 3:42 am

    i had the \girl bowl cut\ where you have the bowl cut fringe but your longer hair was about mid-way down your neck and all the same length.

  • 15 Diamond Jo // Apr 7, 2009 at 7:44 pm

    That remember a lot…

  • 16 Nancy // Jul 31, 2009 at 6:26 pm

    What movie is that picture from? It looks really familiar.

  • 17 becky // Aug 5, 2009 at 7:11 pm

    i had a bowl cut when i was younger
    and im a girl

  • 18 becky // Aug 5, 2009 at 7:11 pm

    to nancy:
    its from i pronounce you chuck and larry

  • 19 Vladan // Aug 23, 2009 at 6:16 pm

    it is challenging to tell many asians apart because of the bowl cut thing. why is that? many have the same look, the same haircut, the same science teacher, the same calculus teacher……the same, no personality, no charisma, BORING.

  • 20 lol // Sep 2, 2009 at 9:13 pm

    lol…my mom always cut my hair when i was young and the only haircut she knew was to cut it in a bowl haircut…now when i look back at my kid pictures, i’m like “omg i look like a boy wearing a dress!!!!” *dies of mortification*

  • 21 Tiffany Jewelry // Oct 1, 2009 at 10:15 am

    Currently, the bowl haircut represents two things. First, it shows non-Asian people that they are still connected to their roots, AKA the third world countries where people can’t afford food, housing, or Playstation 3s. The bowl cut is a reminder of the hard times

  • 22 AMEXICANGUY // Nov 4, 2009 at 3:17 pm

    OK NICE NICE you guys have beautiful straight HAIR we get it LOL but what if your a mediterranean bean like me and got really kinky curly hair, how then can I achieve this hair cut?

  • 23 Roberto // Aug 12, 2010 at 4:35 am

    LOLOLOL Haha the whole inferiority/superiority thing was worth a good laugh. And I’m Mexican. Haha people need to learn to take a joke xD

  • 24 Meep // Aug 13, 2010 at 3:44 am

    “Secondly, it’s a proverbial middle finger to all of the other races. The bowl haircut accentuates the intelligence, confidence, and athleticism”

    “athleticism”? I don’t really think of Asians as athletic… unless it comes to dance video games or competitive eating.

  • 25 D-One // Sep 21, 2010 at 6:23 pm

    If you guys are nostalgic for the good ol’ bowl cut days of yesteryear, check out the song, “Rollin’ With a Bowl Cut” MV here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqRc2Q3GRJs&feature=sub

  • 26 Christina // Aug 6, 2011 at 1:57 am

    Wtf? Bowl cuts just aren’t attractive in any society. There wasn’t a single Asian with a bowl cut in my high school, which was mostly Asian, including me. I never had a bowl cut and I will never find one attractive.

  • 27 Lollipop // Nov 11, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    I haven’t seen anyone this kind of haircut nowadays. :D

  • 28 ilovehorseyrides // Aug 14, 2015 at 1:22 pm

    On Asian haircuts…parents shave their kids’ hair when they are infants, no matter the baby’s gender. I had my hair shaved as an infant, (and I have pics of it) and I hated it because not only did that haircut made me look like a Buddhist monk, everyone kept calling me a boy >:( (I’m female)

  • 29 ilovehorseyrides // Sep 26, 2015 at 3:20 pm

    I have a photo of me as a toddler with an Asian bowl haircut. I was 2 years old.

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