Stuff Asian People Like

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#4 Bowl Haircuts

Posted February 16th, 2008 by themachine · 12 Comments
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Formerly worn by the Beatles and Moe Howard of the Three Stooges, the bowl haircut is symbolic of musical greatness and comedic genius. As a result, it’s only natural that this beautiful styling of the hair graces the heads of the world’s greatest and largest race, Asians. Currently, the bowl haircut represents two things. First, it shows non-Asian people that they are still connected to their roots, AKA the third world countries where people can’t afford food, housing, or Playstation 3s. The bowl cut is a reminder of the hard times and is intended to keep the prosperous Asian community in the United States grounded and true to their real identity. Secondly, it’s a proverbial middle finger to all of the other races. The bowl haircut accentuates the intelligence, confidence, and athleticism that all Asian people possess. Outsiders will see the bowl haircut and will become filled with self hatred and depression due to their lack of superiority. But don’t worry my non-Asian friends; you too can achieve the bowl haircut. I’ve included instructions below:

Step 1: Get a bowl that fits the unique shape of your inferior heads. This step is the most difficult.

Step 2: When you finally find the right bowl, place it on top of your head.

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Step 3: Take scissors and proceed to cut the hair around the edge of the bowl.

Step 4: When you inevitably mess up, go to an Asian salon to get it done right.

Step 5: Congratulations! You are less inferior than you were before!

Last 5 posts by themachine

Tags: Activities · Culture · People

12 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Peter // Feb 17, 2008 at 2:45 pm

    I had one until I was like 12

  • 2 Allen // Feb 17, 2008 at 9:45 pm

    i love step 5.

  • 3 Justus // Feb 19, 2008 at 11:22 am

    the inferior/superior thing is totally not funny.

  • 4 Justin // Feb 19, 2008 at 12:07 pm

    it’s just a joke

  • 5 Dr. Chan // Feb 20, 2008 at 5:04 pm

    Moo, i had one recently.

  • 6 khang // Feb 26, 2008 at 2:21 pm

    i think when you’re an asian kid you can only have 2 styles to choose from, the bowl or the buzz cut, well maybe 3 the buzz cut with the tail. i think i’ll break the tradition and give my kid a jehri curl or a mullet.

  • 7 Chinkygirl // Feb 26, 2008 at 3:37 pm

    yeah, but i think the bowl cut looked cute on my lil brother!

  • 8 Aussie Teacher // Feb 29, 2008 at 1:38 am

    not an Asian, but a teacher of Asians, great to get a Western Asian take on things. Sometimes the things my students think just baffle me. The superiority thing is definitely true, but hey they’re paying to learn my language not the other way round…. yet!

  • 9 Peter // Feb 29, 2008 at 3:17 am

    =)

  • 10 Lisa // Mar 25, 2008 at 8:55 pm

    OK! Seriously fellow Asians! If you are going to show a Asian guy with a bowl haircut, let it be a real Asian and not Rob Schneider yellow-facing us. It is funny but to show a real Asian with a bowl haircut, let’s get a real Asian.

  • 11 Griffin // Apr 5, 2008 at 4:53 pm

    rob’s mom is fillipino!

  • 12 Ray // Jun 23, 2008 at 4:22 am

    Rob Schneider is half asian. so his picture counts somewhat. I got a bowl-cut once just to make fun of the stereotype.

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