Let me leave you with 5 more (oriental) pearls of Chinese wisdom.

6. NO we can’t fly

“gotta . . .get . . .to. . . .Panda Express. . . ”

We also cannot walk up the walls and/or throw fireballs. Thanks.

7. We are not Spies

Non-asian guy: Where are you from? China or Japan?

Me: Korea

Non-asian guy: Oh? From North Korea or South?

Seriously, if we were from the North, we’d be in Guantanomo Bay. NEWS FLASH: North Koreans can’t leave their Country.

There’s no North Koreans that are walking around Walmart Nordstrom so don’t point at me.

8. Not all our Women will “Love you Long Time”

They probably won’t “make you holla” for “five dolla” either.

Did you watch Joyluck Club? Platoon? Miss Saigon? Well, not all Asian women are waiting by their window sill for someone to come rescue them

Here’s a hint, don’t say the following phrases to the modern asian girl.
“oh, my ex-girlfriend was Vietnamese”
“I like Kimchee too!”

Also, the days of the submissive Asian girl you can order through mail and fold your clothes are over. Don’t believe me? Follow this link.

9. We are not that smart, we were just beaten if we got bad grades.

Were you the kid that was trying to cheat off me in Calculus? Did you child get Pwned at the spelling bee by Mei Ling? Is the SAT going to change their scoring system again to try to keep them Orientals out?

Seriously, not all of us were “beaten” beaten but our standards are definitely higher. I remember hanging out with my white friends and he got a $100.00 for getting over 2.0 gpa. I told that to my parents as I gave them my 4.0 report card and they gave me a pack of swedish fish and let me off work at the corner store early that night (11:30pm).

10. We think your idea of attractive Asian women is generally messed up.

k so this is pretty much why I’m writing this entry. What is up with the Asian women in American Media? I mean do you have to pick the weirdest, most Benetton ad looking women? To illustrate:

yall know these ladies . . .

NO

NO

NO.

You should be going after these ladies:

YES!

YES!

YES!

YES!

That is all. I feel like I’ve made some progress.